she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
