so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
