i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize