I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
