I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
