And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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