I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
