Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
