Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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