Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
