do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
