So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
