She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You ruined the universe
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
