eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
