the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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