he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
