Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...