My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.