therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?