I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize