is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
