when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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