He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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