I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
