The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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