"it" just moved
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
