some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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