So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
