I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
