Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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