Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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