i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
