Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
