listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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