people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Never underestimate the power of titties
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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