i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
