i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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