do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
