I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My balls are so social today.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
