how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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