Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
