if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
