it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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