Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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