Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
sarcasm needs its own font
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
