It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
