i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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