i jhust puked up my retainher.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
MIDGETS
????
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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