It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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