spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Farmville is her only friend.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
