guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
