I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
