He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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