i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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