i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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