im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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