hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
