just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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