It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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